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Thanks, ‘sis, for alerting me_

Acapella [2010]

OMG! I HEART Kelis. Was kind of thinking where the hell she was, the other day. Well, prayers answered, box ticked. Her new video is out on YouTube. After Beyonce and Lady Sodding Gaga’s load of codswallop its great that La Kelis has returned to stake her hold on that much fought after crown. The song’s a grower. A leftfield, trancy uptempo/ slow tempo track produced by the proverbial Clever. Hints of Donna Summer and Rozalla’s “Everybody’s Free.” Catchy. Soundtrack to the summer? We’ll see. The video’s chock full of arresting imagery. Sort of digital age tribal queen. The Masai-inspired outfits brought to mind John Galliano’s first haute couture show for Christian Dior. You’re doing Debra Shaw [90’s über couture clotheshorse] proud. Some sequences are a bit hammy but she is KELIS. And there’s no need for any silly lesbian gimmicks here, naming no names… You’re ga-ga-going to burn out, luv, if you’re not careful. One word. Britney…

A bit raw, a bit unpredictable and very, very Kelis. You go, girl! Blow’em outta the water.

Kelis: Acapella [YouTube link here]

Loving Delphic’s debut album Acolyte. The Manchester band’s most definitely going to be my sound of the week – New Order-tinged dance pop rock. Love it when things defy categories. Even better, I absolutely love the art direction of their music video, Doubt. I love the contrast of the digitised geometric shapes against skin. Great lighting. Great video. Great song.

She’s back and she’s Done It Again!

All’s alright in the world. We can all heave a collective sigh of relief and yell: Yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

Ok, let’s not get carried away.

Doin' It Again 2

I love this lady. First of all, can she pen a right catchy ditty or what? Don’t worry, whenever, wherever, underneath your clothes, my hips don’t lie – see, even the song titles make poetry! I’ll hold my hand up and confess that I’ve on many an occasion been a bit of a Pop Snob. Eurrgh, I don’t listen to such prepubescent drivel – leave that to Saturday girls at Jane Norman (high street Spandex Specialist chain.) However, as one becomes well-esconced in their 30’s I’ve started to let my inner pop light shine a bit more. In other words, I don’t give a damn. Shaksters, je t’aime beaucoup. I will forever worship at your throne of bonkers-ness.

Secondly, can this lady dance. Actually “dance” doesn’t quite justify her Pelvic Dexterity. I’m not sure if those lovely people at Oxford have figured out a word for this yet. It’s the 8th Wonder of the Modern World. See her do verging-on-obscene, mind-boggling  things with her body on the “She Wolf” video if you don’t believe me.

And now this:-

Doin' It Again 5

Crouching tiger-hidden dragon

Doin' It Again 9

Her bed-making technique was quite unusual

Doin' It Again 1

The bed bugs gave them such a nasty fright…

Always one step ahead, La Shak has gone all Ang Lee on us. Taking Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon as her cue its a battle of the sexes to see who gets to hug the duvet. High kicks, somersaults that would make a Russian gymnast jealous, raw emotion, drama, action! Never seen nowt like it in me life! If this girl doesn’t win Video of the Year, Song of the Year and, heck, Body Contortionist of the Year then we’re gonna have another Kanye Situation on our hands and we don’t want that little tyke to get upset now, do we… That wasn’t a question, natch!

Best of all, though, are the Scenes of Serenity amidst all that balletic gung-ho. La Shak has been paying attention during style class. Who would have thought it? Cult fashion photographer Deborah Turbeville’s iconic sauna scene of wistful über babes in the mist has been be so lovingly recreated. Now that’s what I call Artistic Integrity. Genius!

Give the girl a hip replacement.

Doin' It Again 3

deborah turbeville

This is so goooooooooood….


First saw this in bar in Paris. Near Palais Royal. A backstreet. One of the few places that you can smoke inside. An odd experience –  sipping German bier whilst puffing on a Marlboro Gold – made even more odd by the mute-button-on screening of La Shak doin’ her ting. Flesh coloured body stocking, inexplicably agile limbs, thrusting “lady garden”, a cage, the glitter-festooned innards of a nymphomaniac cow, nonsensical lyrics:-

…..Starting to feel just a little abused
Like a coffee machine in an office (aaa)…

…Nocturnal creatures are not so prudent,
The moon’s my teacher, and i’m her student…



A good manicurist is so hard to find these days